Rainy days...

Rainy days always lead me to be introspective, productive and domestic. I'm not exactly sure why - it could be that rain inspires me to make coffee and the more coffee I drink the more alive I feel. Not exaggerating.

But really, I do feel more alive these days. I'm learning to cling to a higher Hope than this finite world and I think it has given me peace.

I get to quit my job next month and that thrills me. I feel like I was designed to be a housewife and that I was designed to be a mother and have a family. For the first time I feel at peace that I will have a child in God's time and I'm not letting my childlessness define me anymore. I am not less complete because of it, and that is a freeing thought. God will give us a child at the right time. I know He has not planted these desires in my heart to leave me downtrodden.

I have a pretty little container garden growing on my back steps and I am overjoyed that I have not killed my plants yet - despite many attempts! My house is clean and smells like honeysuckle and I have stayed up far too late.

I'm sure I have posted this verse a million times in a dozen other formats, but this is where I am living now. I have no fear of the future, for the first time in my life.